Foul Mood by Lin Hui-yin ~ 林徽因 《恶劣的心绪》 with English Translations

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作品原文

林徽因 《恶劣的心绪》

我病中,这样缠住忧虑和烦扰,
好像西北冷风,从沙漠荒原吹起,
逐步吹入黄昏街头巷尾的垃圾堆;
在霉腐的琐屑里寻讨安慰,
自己在万物消耗以后的残骸中惊骇,
又一点一点给别人扬起可怕的尘埃!

吹散记忆正如陈旧的报纸飘在各处彷徨,
破碎支离的记录只颠倒提示过去的骚乱。
多余的理性还像一只饥饿的野狗
那样追着空罐同肉骨,自己寂寞的追着
咬嚼人类的感伤;生活是什么都还说不上来,
摆在眼前的已是这许多渣滓!

我希望:风停了;今晚情绪能像一场小雪,
沉默的白色轻轻降落地上;
雪花每片对自己和他人都带一星耐性的仁慈,
一层一层把恶劣残破和痛苦的一起掩藏;
在美丽明早的晨光下,焦心暂不必再有,——
绝望要来时,索性是雪后残酷的寒流!

 

 

作品译文

 

 

Foul Mood
Lin Hui-yin

In sickness, I am all wound up in worries and aggravations,
like the cold northwest wind, it blows over from the desert wilderness
slowly blowing on piles of garbage in alleys and street corners at dusk.
I try to console myself with bits of moldy, rotted odds and ends
but after all is used up, I’m startled at the wreckage that is left,
and bit by bit raising yet more terrifying dust for somebody else.

Memories are scattered like old newspapers, blown, lost, everywhere.
Old records, broken and separated, can only hint at past disturbance.
Excessive rationality is like a hungry wild dog
that chases after empty cans and meaty bones, a solitary chase
to chew on mankind’s sorrow; but before one can say what life is all about,
already, before the eyes too many dregs!

I hope: the wind would stop, the mood tonight would be like a light fall of snow,
hushed whiteness gently fall to the ground.
Each flake brings to all a speck of enduring kindness
to cover, layer by layer, all that’s foul, broken, and in pain.
In the lovely morning light of tomorrow, anxiety takes a little rest—
if despair comes, let it be the pitiless, cold currents after the snow!

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